I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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