so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
