Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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