Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Randomize
