your parents love me but you hate me
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
