I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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