these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
