I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
