I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Terrible idea I love it
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
