So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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