I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
