I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
