Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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