Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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