Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
