Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
This is the prime rib incident all over again
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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