i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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