I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
