I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
