I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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