he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
either way he was missing a nipple.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
