Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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