He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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