those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
