I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
