i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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