I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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