At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
