she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
