I can't watch pbs sober anymore
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
If you need anything just hit me up
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.