Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize