It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket