we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
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Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
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I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?