he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just high enough for therapy.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize