k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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