If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
