Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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