i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
