if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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