I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
