He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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