Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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