She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
