Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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