I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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