when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
