so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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