And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
