If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize