There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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