So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
