He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
