you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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