if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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