they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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