we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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