Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
