If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
