we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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