In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
50% drunk capacity currently
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize