Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
