soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
